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He didn't look into my eyes and tell me it was time. I had waited for this. There was no right time to love my dog enough to set him free. He didn't want to go and I didn't want him gone. This dog had trusted me his entire 16 years to make the right decisions. I had never needed to call him to me as he was always there. Vinnie wasn't the smartest or fastest or most beautiful, we were well suited. The final years brought betrayal to him. First his hearing then his balance then his bowels then his hips and then me. As the drug entered his system I marveled that nothing around me stopped. The wind continued to blow the sun continued to shine and my heart continued to beat. Vinnie loved me because I was his from the moment I picked him up to the last beat of his heart. He had chosen me to spend his life with. He had chosen me to walk, ride and sleep with. He knew I would have him stitched up when he was torn and scold him when he galloped away with my shoe. He was here and now he's not. Vinnie didn't thank me when I carried him down the stairs, moved his water closer or made his food more palatable, we had always looked after each other. Time has now passed, the leaves are falling, the mornings are cold and Vinnie hasn't miraculously appeared. Sometimes, however, I do catch a glimpse of him out the corner of my eye lying under a tree or sitting tall behind me as I drive. There is still sadness and an empty spot but there is also a smile and lazy closed eyes which allow me to have him again, if only for a second. Vinnie was my friend. He made a difference to me. He is warm and safe in my heart - forever.
My thanks to Lorraine and Jeph for providing me with the strength, when I couldn't find my own, to do what had to be done.
Ruth
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